I write...

where does it come from? I drive halfway through a country to find the same - you.  Another you. you like sand through my toes in a place where o­nly the ocean knows. We lay- in bed without air, the world can hear me the window is large and I can't care. You were a stranger - my dangerous secret and such is my life. It's hard to believe that you were real. I can feel that you are the river flowing into me all I see is ocean a single motion not allowed. I bend down to touch the sand the land we love where water flows. I feel the memories, I feel temporary, my boat is small. Resting o­n a seat where there used to be no room - there is no moon we might as well be sailing away. My flowing river you became- in the sea i heard my name. I remember the sand beneath my toes and pray for my gentle life in the swelling waves and lazy banks. I am the ocean, the current pushes me back and forth, and for an instant in that public place where we could not hide - you carried me in o­ne direction. dimly lit nude the slightest evidence of light. giving me the faintest sight - you look like a candle. I don't know that I can handle more error. Dimly lit nude - you exude something I can't turn away from. I feel you. I don't want to you're scalding me. you make me burn too hot. I'm sorry that I can't stop the tears. you console me, it's not enough. you've already melted me. I can't ask anymore. I don't understand it. I don't even know if I planned it. I want you to make me stop my sobbing. I'm falling. I want to save myself. Dimly lit nude- I look up at you. We see us. I have to touch. Too much. When the tears start - you justify- with conviction making a commitment. To cease. I can't help it - I bleed sorrow, into your hands. Dimly lit nude- and I continue to pursue into the candlelight - creating love where it shouldn't rest. If this is a test - I've cheated all. I become small inside. The sky above you is filled with smoke. We used to speak logic - keep finding ourselves nostalgic and fires grow when ignited- part of me died in your gaze - when I was brave enough to look up. Where will I find my rescue- I'm addicted to you. My fingers connect your back I haven't figured out what not to do to resist you. You drug me in the dimly lit nude.   distracting midnight whispering softly into my pillow, downy secrets trailing regrets. Only night time will know my weakness. I can't prepare for midnight. I'm full of stories tonight. My throat burns with expectation anticipation. My eyes wide in the darkness- I feel a warm kiss. Moonlight draping over me like cool dry linens - I murmur my opinions into emptiness. My ears ring longing for midnight's gentle arm around me. Crying softly into my pillow,  feeling stars, only aching heart. Strange nightlight will keep my unguarded rest where it best belongs. Mystery at midnight I return my guard retreat into protected isolation. Trapping uncertainty into my sheets. Remembering heat, holding o­n to delicious wishes. When sleepy pain fills my eyes - I'd follow this secret anywhere. I whisper words no man will hear for fear of my undoing. Midnight renewing my morning armor.