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kolilai's dance
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da riffs...

Can I get one
I got up on the stand.
Luckily –
I was not sworn in,
and the judge wasn’t paying attention.
When you began to question me
I stopped you –
I am not your witness
and I am on
to you
when everyone of your personalities
circles around me
like a
predator about to attack
and I know you’re waiting
encouraging
my falter.
I’m not your witness
I don’t have to answer your questions
you know where you were
you know what you said
you know you’re sneakier then
a snake –
you snake.
I’m on the stand
you circle around
you dip in
and the interrogation is on
you asks me questions with your lips
your hands on my back
let me know
there is nowhere for me to go
the judge is not paying attention
I am on the stand
I am not your witness
but you are witnessing me – giving in
and letting go
you are a master of your art
I know you know
and I am on to you
I am on to you
I was not sworn in
I admit nothing
I am on to you.
I am not your witness.

  • Can't slow it down for you...
    all the silly
    games I play -
    all the things I try to say
    say it all but-
    say it too fast but-
    Papi, I can't slow it down for you -
    can't slow it down
    you stir it up in
    my gut -
    get the nerves a rollin'
    talk too much -
    say it in a rush -
    ah -
    desperate to say it right
    say the right thing
    so you'll see
    and I can't take it down a notch
    watch
    ah Papi
    watch
    watch me
    spinning like a top
    over the top
    my mouth going like a race car
    soon as I see
    where you
    are
    ah Papi
    you stir it up
    in me
    stir it up
    brain signals pickin it up
    when I try to make you see
    ah don't walk away from me
    no papi
    wrap those arms around me
    hand on each hip
    lip on each lip
    I'll push it up while you stir it up
    and ah papi,
    I just can't slow it down for you.
    I think of a million
    more things to think
    because you make my stomach
    growl
    make me throw in the towel
    ah, I surrender to being a fool
    with you I lose my cool
    too too much
    nerves and such
    ah sweet Papi
    you drive me wild
    you stir it up
    you speed it up
    ah Papi, I can't slow it down for you.

 
 
 
It is
soft.
Outside the air
is hot
and I can smell
grass burning
inside
the voice tells me
that I am
learning -
every crevice
in the darkness
of muscles
the lips
that are large
and soft
and the
strong curves
of
black as
night.
within my sight
is this
who will
whisper to me
secrets
that stir
through groups of acquaintances
and my body
I reach
forward
I am fed
the pan sizzles
the air outside
sizzles
and grass burns
I am
in
pain
and I forget
because the whisperer
speaks and asks
me
"is this
what
you have come
for"
and I think it may be.
I hear the gasps
skin as black
as the smokey
sky
outside
whisperer
speaks
of perfection.
I know the truth.
I keep the secret
I am twisting
I am screaming
and I am scared
my fingers follow
trails
of muscle
rivers of perspiration
and in desperation
I touch those soft lips
of this
whisperer
who tells me
there is a burning for me
as the grass outside
grabs the sparks
and fills the darkness.
I can't whisper
back
my cries are loud
and pierce the silence
and do
not speak
of desire
they speak of a
void filling
all the way
I feel the pleasure
I can forget
the other
as the whisperer
finally is able
to drift into sleep
strong night colored
arm
grazing
the woman
lost.

humble.jpg.jpg

HOUR IN

early.
Sun.  I bathe in it.
I forget about
the moon.
it burns.
It won't ruin
me.
I'll stare at it,
look in to the man in the shadows -
to see
the man in the
light.
The sight
is disarming -
alarming -
as hours roll by -
man fades into child -
and eventually
smoke
night became morning
and I
awoke.
Moon done,
just sun
dried up
tears
heart full, mind unclear -
and then -
the sun felt
warm
I felt the truth
I felt
new.
There was hope
and possibly
strength?
The message was plain -
the hurt
was mundane
and all that was left
was the start
and the pulsating beat
of
heart.

bless.jpg.jpg

I write...

where does it come from?
I drive halfway through a country to find
the same -
you.  Another you.
you like sand through my toes
in a place
where o­nly the ocean
knows.
We lay-
in bed without air,
the world can hear me
the window is large
and I can't care.
You were a stranger -
my dangerous secret
and such
is my life.
It's hard to believe that
you were real.
I can feel
that you are the river
flowing into me
all I see is ocean
a single
motion
not allowed.
I bend down to touch
the sand
the land we love
where water flows.
I feel the memories,
I feel temporary,
my boat is small.
Resting o­n a seat
where
there used to be no room -
there is no moon
we might as well be
sailing away.
My flowing river you became-
in the sea
i heard my name.
I remember the sand
beneath my toes
and pray
for my gentle life
in the swelling waves
and lazy banks.
I am the ocean,
the current pushes
me back and forth,
and for an instant
in that public place
where we
could not hide -
you carried me
in o­ne direction.

dimly lit nude

the slightest
evidence of
light.
giving me
the faintest
sight -
you look like a candle.
I don't
know that
I can handle
more
error.
Dimly lit nude -
you exude
something
I can't turn away from.
I feel you.
I don't want to
you're
scalding me.
you make
me burn
too hot.
I'm sorry
that I can't stop the tears.
you console
me,
it's not enough.
you've
already melted
me.
I can't ask anymore.
I don't understand it.
I don't even
know
if I
planned it.
I want you
to make
me
stop my
sobbing.
I'm falling.
I want to save
myself.
Dimly lit nude-
I look
up
at you.
We see
us.
I have to touch.
Too
much.
When the tears start -
you justify-
with conviction
making a
commitment.
To cease.
I can't help it -
I bleed sorrow,
into
your hands.
Dimly lit nude-
and I continue
to pursue
into the candlelight -
creating love
where it shouldn't
rest.
If this is a test -
I've cheated
all.
I become small
inside.
The sky
above
you
is filled with smoke.
We used
to speak
logic -
keep finding ourselves
nostalgic
and fires grow
when ignited-
part of me
died in
your gaze -
when
I was brave enough
to look
up.
Where will I
find my rescue-
I'm
addicted
to you.
My fingers
connect your back
I haven't
figured out
what not to do
to
resist you.
You drug me
in the
dimly lit nude.

 

distracting midnight

whispering softly into my pillow,
downy secrets
trailing
regrets.
Only night time
will know
my
weakness.
I can't prepare for
midnight.
I'm full of
stories
tonight.
My throat
burns with expectation
anticipation.
My eyes wide
in the darkness-
I feel a
warm
kiss.
Moonlight draping over me
like
cool dry linens -
I murmur
my opinions
into emptiness.
My ears ring
longing
for midnight's
gentle arm around me.
Crying softly
into my pillow,
 feeling stars,
only aching
heart.
Strange nightlight
will keep my
unguarded rest
where it
best
belongs.
Mystery at midnight
I return my guard
retreat
into protected isolation.
Trapping uncertainty
into my sheets.
Remembering
heat,
holding o­n to
delicious
wishes.
When sleepy pain fills
my eyes -
I'd follow this secret
anywhere.
I whisper
words
no man will hear
for fear
of my undoing.
Midnight renewing
my
morning
armor.

 

where does it come from?
I drive halfway through a country to find
the same -
you.  Another you.
you like sand through my toes
in a place
where o­nly the ocean
knows.
We lay-
in bed without air,
the world can hear me
the window is large
and I can't care.
You were a stranger -
my dangerous secret
and such
is my life.
It's hard to believe that
you were real.
I can feel
that you are the river
flowing into me
all I see is ocean
a single
motion
not allowed.
I bend down to touch
the sand
the land we love
where water flows.
I feel the memories,
I feel temporary,
my boat is small.
Resting o­n a seat
where
there used to be no room -
there is no moon
we might as well be
sailing away.
My flowing river you became-
in the sea
i heard my name.
I remember the sand
beneath my toes
and pray
for my gentle life
in the swelling waves
and lazy banks.
I am the ocean,
the current pushes
me back and forth,
and for an instant
in that public place
where we
could not hide -
you carried me
in o­ne direction.

where does it come from?
I drive halfway through a country to find
the same -
you.  Another you.
you like sand through my toes
in a place
where o­nly the ocean
knows.
We lay-
in bed without air,
the world can hear me
the window is large
and I can't care.
You were a stranger -
my dangerous secret
and such
is my life.
It's hard to believe that
you were real.
I can feel
that you are the river
flowing into me
all I see is ocean
a single
motion
not allowed.
I bend down to touch
the sand
the land we love
where water flows.
I feel the memories,
I feel temporary,
my boat is small.
Resting o­n a seat
where
there used to be no room -
there is no moon
we might as well be
sailing away.
My flowing river you became-
in the sea
i heard my name.
I remember the sand
beneath my toes
and pray
for my gentle life
in the swelling waves
and lazy banks.
I am the ocean,
the current pushes
me back and forth,
and for an instant
in that public place
where we
could not hide -
you carried me
in o­ne direction.


whispering softly into my pillow,
downy secrets
trailing
regrets.
Only night time
will know
my
weakness.
I can't prepare for
midnight.
I'm full of
stories
tonight.
My throat
burns with expectation
anticipation.
My eyes wide
in the darkness-
I feel a
warm
kiss.
Moonlight draping over me
like
cool dry linens -
I murmur
my opinions
into emptiness.
My ears ring
longing
for midnight's
gentle arm around me.
Crying softly
into my pillow,
 feeling stars,
only aching
heart.
Strange nightlight
will keep my
unguarded rest
where it
best
belongs.
Mystery at midnight
I return my guard
retreat
into protected isolation.
Trapping uncertainty
into my sheets.
Remembering
heat,
holding o­n to
delicious
wishes.
When sleepy pain fills
my eyes -
I'd follow this secret
anywhere.
I whisper
words
no man will hear
for fear
of my undoing.
Midnight renewing
my
morning
armor.

in o­ne ear
I hear
singing reasons to
stay.
One way
I'll find today
and sit beside myself.
In o­ne ear
I hear
singing peace.
In the other
I feel
power
struggling -
and I'm juggling
my heart and
yours.
Sweet chorus
stealing words
from
me.
In o­ne ear
I hear
painful years.
I don't know
whose-
I choose
to lay myself down.
to be in this
town.
Middle of busy
our playground
makes me
dizzy.
I try and explain
me to
you
and I fear that it goes
In o­ne ear.
I hear
it's angry exit
from love
and
all that is held
dear.
I spin
and fall upside
down
and it sounds
so
confused
I try
and make it clear
to you
but I o­nly hear
it
In o­ne ear.

 

IN ONE EAR

in o­ne ear
I hear
singing reasons to
stay.
One way
I'll find today
and sit beside myself.
In o­ne ear
I hear
singing peace.
In the other
I feel
power
struggling -
and I'm juggling
my heart and
yours.
Sweet chorus
stealing words
from
me.
In o­ne ear
I hear
painful years.
I don't know
whose-
I choose
to lay myself down.
to be in this
town.
Middle of busy
our playground
makes me
dizzy.
I try and explain
me to
you
and I fear that it goes
In o­ne ear.
I hear
it's angry exit
from love
and
all that is held
dear.
I spin
and fall upside
down
and it sounds
so
confused
I try
and make it clear
to you
but I o­nly hear
it
In o­ne ear.

 

the slightest
evidence of
light.
giving me
the faintest
sight -
you look like a candle.
I don't
know that
I can handle
more
error.
Dimly lit nude -
you exude
something
I can't turn away from.
I feel you.
I don't want to
you're
scalding me.
you make
me burn
too hot.
I'm sorry
that I can't stop the tears.
you console
me,
it's not enough.
you've
already melted
me.
I can't ask anymore.
I don't understand it.
I don't even
know
if I
planned it.
I want you
to make
me
stop my
sobbing.
I'm falling.
I want to save
myself.
Dimly lit nude-
I look
up
at you.
We see
us.
I have to touch.
Too
much.
When the tears start -
you justify-
with conviction
making a
commitment.
To cease.
I can't help it -
I bleed sorrow,
into
your hands.
Dimly lit nude-
and I continue
to pursue
into the candlelight -
creating love
where it shouldn't
rest.
If this is a test -
I've cheated
all.
I become small
inside.
The sky
above
you
is filled with smoke.
We used
to speak
logic -
keep finding ourselves
nostalgic
and fires grow
when ignited-
part of me
died in
your gaze -
when
I was brave enough
to look
up.
Where will I
find my rescue-
I'm
addicted
to you.
My fingers
connect your back
I haven't
figured out
what not to do
to
resist you.
You drug me
in the
dimly lit nude.

 



Good day, sir.

Waking up

brand

new.

transcontinental collaboration

with

you.

Amazing transient

bursts

from a traveler

who first

gave me a

tune to

use.

I

am o­ne of a nomadic tribe,

and

you

are a nomad.

Couch cruising

Im

losing

my

time

in your muses

Welcome

to my

feeble,

dribble

of words.

Good day sir.

I bow

down from my

town

to you. 

Transient bursts,

from a

resilient thirst.

To speak.

All out,

nuclear fallout,

Im ready

to shout it out

scream

even.

Daring Ithacan,

helping my wings

feel swift again.

I salute you.